¿Cómo afecta la tecnología a las relaciones de pareja?
Las relaciones de pareja son atravesadas tecnológicamente en los tiempos que corren. Los efectos son variados y las conductas naturalizadas merecen reflexión crítica.
Ante un escenario de virtualización creciente, las nuevas tecnologías han evolucionado de forma que puedan resultar funcionales en cada vez más aspectos de nuestras vidas. No solo cumplen papeles en nuestra vida profesional, sino que las hemos integrado en nuestro lado social e íntimo.
En este contexto, las investigadoras mexicanas Tania Rodríguez Salazar y Zeida Rodríguez Morales indagaron sobre las transformaciones que las nuevas tecnologías generan en los mundos de lo amoroso y lo sexual. Tras preguntarse cómo estas commodities afectan desde la elección de pareja hasta la comunicación íntima, descubrieron que incluso el contacto cara a cara se ve flagelado por las modalidades virtuales. Ambas académicas postulan un doble efecto de las redes y el internet: la primera es la mayor amplitud y libertad en la búsqueda de parejas, facilitando los encuentros y el emparejamiento. La segunda tiende a la restricción y el control, bajo el incremento de sospechas, supervisión y vigilancia.
La primera consecuencia tiene que ver con lo que llamamos “el levante”: muchos de los jóvenes consideran más sencillo iniciar un diálogo por una red social. Hasta un “Me gusta” funciona como pretexto para romper el hielo en esos casos.
En relación a la segunda consecuencia, las investigadoras coinciden en el peligro que conlleva crear nuevas exigencias de comunicación amorosa. ¿Qué significa esto? Que el uso de redes puede llevar a los enamorados a tener una fuerte necesidad de conocer el mundo relacional de su pareja: quienes fueron sus exparejas, con qué amigos se ve, si se sigue con gente que a uno no le agrada, entre otras dudas.
La hiperconexión
Las tecnologías digitales de comunicación refuerzan los componentes del amor romántico por sobre los de la emancipación individual, al crear la posibilidad de una comunicación continua o casi permanente. El resultado es la exigencia de estar alertas en cualquier momento ante un posible mensaje de la pareja. En ese afán, los celulares inteligentes, las conexiones Wi-Fi y las aplicaciones gratuitas de mensajes ayudan a los jóvenes a sostener estas conductas.
El mayor peligro para la salud de la pareja reside en la sobreinformación y la ampliación de la vigilancia entre los enamorados. Como es posible estar comunicados todo el tiempo, las ausencias y los mensajes no respondidos cobran un peso muy fuerte, llegando a ser motivo de conflicto. En tiempos marcados por la tecnología, esta exige una presencia constante, y las parejas se adueñan así del tiempo del otro abanderando la concesión de nuestro tiempo como signo de amor incondicional.
El stalking
Todos hemos stalkeado alguna vez: puede servirnos para conocer más sobre la persona que nos interesa y darnos pistas para conquistarla. Sin embargo, cuando el vínculo ya está consolidado puede resultar perjudicial. A veces, querer conocer sobre nuestra pareja o sus vínculos mediante redes sociales puede desencadenar episodios de celos y desconfianza. El motivo es la sobreinformación que mencionamos en líneas anteriores: en el intento de saber todo lo posible sobre quien nos gusta podemos caer en conductas de control y vigilancia sobre esa persona, aún a sabiendas de lo perjudicial que puede ser para la salud de la pareja y la individual.
La publicación del estatus sentimental
Moralez y Salazar interpretan el publicar la situación sentimental -“estar en una relación” o “comprometido”- como un anuncio que exhibe la propiedad sobre la pareja, que pretende limitar las amenazas de otros y otras. Para las teóricas las causas pueden leerse en la visión que las tecnologías afectivas incentivaron acerca de las relaciones de pareja. En este sentido, un noviazgo es un objeto de valor, una posesión que se desea mantener y que necesita de la aprobación de los demás usuarios. Por eso también resultan tan importantes las apariencias en las redes sociales: con nuestro compañero debemos vernos lindos, estéticos, hegemónicos.
Conclusiones
Internet, y en especial las redes sociales virtuales, han ampliado las posibilidades de encontrar una pareja, sin discriminar entre relaciones formales o informales y a un bajo costo operativo y emocional. Sin embargo, no solo se han ampliado estas posibilidades de socialidad, sino también las zonas de observación y control del otro. Hoy en día muchos actos de observación poco saludables son naturalizados o minimizados por transcurrir dentro del espectro de lo virtual. Es por ello que resulta crucial poder cuestionarse estas conductas para tener una sociabilidad más saludable y placentera.
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